Murder Threats on the Subway

I was standing on a packed subway train this evening, looking forward to coming home to a warm meal and a glance at the newspaper. And then some jerk decided to threaten another man's life.

This fellow shouted "I'm going to make you the seventh homicide of the year!" and then the security alarm went off. The confrontation continued to build as a loud shrieky alarm blared in the background. All the train doors opened. I decided to make my move.

No, I didn't get involved. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not an idiot (usually). I walked three cars down. I mean, what if the dude was packing heat? I've got enough lead in my body (I think).

Three cars down things were more calm. The alarm was further away and the passengers couldn't figure out what all the commotion was about. "We are sorry for the delay" the loudspeaker squawked. "Due to a security situation we will have to wait until the police can arrive."

This got everyone in my new subway car buzzing. I was the only one there that knew what was going on three cars down.

We finally started moving and I got home to my warm meal.

But I couldn't find the damned newspaper.