Britney's Sister is Pregnant!!! OMG!

Britney Spears and her sister, Jamie-Lynn

The world has been rocked by the news. Jamie-Lynn Spears, 16, is pregnant. Cars have stopped in the streets. Airplane flights have been grounded. Lions and lambs lay together in the field as pure anarchy sweeps the Earth. Thunder and lightning have filled the skies. Civilization will never be the same.

Meanwhile, more trivial matters are thankfully being swept aside as the public comes to grips with this shocking revelation.

Some of these unimportant issues include:

• The crisis in Darfur
• Canada's descent into unfair copyright laws
• Iran's continued desire to acheive the destruction of Israel through a long-range attack
• Turkish air strikes in northern Iraq
• Vladimir Putin's erosion of the last shreds of democracy in Russia

Thank goodness for little Jamie-Lynn. She's a helpful reminder that we, as the public, need to stay focused on what really matters. A special thank you to the media for keeping us on track. Journalists report on the issues that matter. I salute their integrity.