Psycho Streetcar Freakout Party!
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of Hell a-glowing
Is the grisly reaper mowing
Yes, the danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing
Those are the immortal words of Willy Wonka, as sung by Gene Wilder in the original film (not to be confused with the new Tim Burton helmed production starring Johnny Depp). The lyrics are chanted when Wonka's boat goes on a freakish ride through a tunnel, filled with flashing lights and spooky imagery. The children aboard the vehicle scream in terror as they tear through the darkness. It happened again yesterday.
Sophia and I were travelling to Toronto's Centre Island, and in order to reach the docks, we had to ride a streetcar through an underground tunnel. A group of young daycamp kids climbed aboard as well. As we started moving through the tunnel, the driver began to ring his bell. Then he turned on his microphone and said:
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you look to your right, you will notice a rusty old wall, to your left, the same. Please keep all arms, legs, and other appendages in the vehicle at all times. Forward thrusters go!"
And with that, we boosted to a much faster speed and began to fire down the tracks at an incredible rate. Then the lights went off. And on. And off again. Everytime the driver hit the switch, he would shout "Warp one!" then "Warp two!", "Warp three!", and so it went. I believe we had about nine or ten warps overall.
The children were screaming in delight, as some of the more 'mature' riders sat in disbelief, fear, or some combination of the both. Soph and I cheered along with the kids and upon reaching our destination, we reluctantly disembarked from the most magical of streetcars. "Please turn your attention to the passengers leaving the vehicle. Wave goodbye, because you may never see them again." The children shouted their goodbyes, and as the funhouse on wheels sped off, I noticed the billboard it carried on its side. It was an advertisement for the new Willy Wonka film. Although the movie may be fun, nothing can top the sheer joy of experiencing some of that unbridled craziness within reality.
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posted by Avi at 8:20 pm
4 Comments:
That streetcar driver may, in fact, also be the elusive "tour guide" streetcar driver. Apparently he either tells stories over the intercom or points out landmarks as the streetcar goes along. I've never had the luck of being a rider on this driver's route, but maybe one day. Maybe one day.
I'm so jealous!
I love enthusiastic streetcar or subway operators. My favourite one so far was a subway operator who would sing out and chant the station like "Spadiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaa... Spa-Spa-Spa-Spadiiiinaaaaa" Or a guy who told us on Kipling "This will be the last station. Unfortunately, here we must part. So sad. Get out now."
But these operators usually come on the later trains. And anothing so far topped your streetcar driver!
i must say..being an eye witness it was the best streetcar ride I've ever been on. It was pretty sweet...I guess you all will just have to hope for the good luck. Too bad there were no scary images on the cement wall...that would have been cool and really really scary. I hope it happens again!!
Yeah, apparently in the original movie, some of the images on the walls of the tunnel included a video of a chicken being decapitated. Pretty gross.
I was once on a Spadina streetcar when the driver said into the mike:
Don't worry folks, only four more days until the weekend." What an optimist.
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