Shul Bulletin vol. 4

I just realized that it has been over a month since the last installment of the bulletin. Here's the latest issue, hot off the press:

• The Shul is now 13 hits away from striking the 10,000 hit mark!
• Israeli troops have entered Gaza. It is an attempt to retrieve a kidnapped Israeli soldier, 19-year-old Cpl. Gilad Shalit.
• In my previous post, I made it sound as if I discovered Paskez marshmallows on my own - it was actually Sophia who handed me the bag. It was at Ben-Zi's charity BBQ.
• Joey is scheduled to return to Canada in less than a week.
• I visited a home today while doing census enumeration work. A young woman answered the door, with a python wriggling around her neck. I acted as if it were the most normal thing in the world, and I helped her complete the questionairre.
• Mr. T is currently running through the woods of Berkshire, NY. Only 40 minutes away from Ithaca!
• The summer course I want to get into filled up. I'm going to attend it anyhow, and hope someone drops. If no-one drops it, I'll have to get my half-course credit by taking a class this year called "Post-war Polish Cinema". That will go great with the Hungarian Cinema course I did last year. I'm so weird.
• You can get Hershey's Max 5 bars at 99 Cent World on Steeles for 65 cents.
• Debra just updated her blog with a lot of pictures. See them here.
• I finally succeeded in getting my sister addicted to Married with Children. Goodness, I love that show.
• According to a Macleans article, 1 out of 5 PhD students actually become professors.
• Superman returns tommorow.
• Playboy has reportedly offered Ashlee Simpson $4 Million (US) to pose nude in the magazine.
• The new season of House starts on September 5th - that one is for you, Soph.

Marshmallows! Music!

Avi pigs out on marshamallows earlier today

I'm a big marshmallow fan. I adore the damn things. The only problem is, being a kashruth observant fellow, I find it very hard to find quality product. The key to making marshamallows soft is in the gelatin, and unlike non-kosher mallow which carries pig gelatin, the kosher stuff can only contain fish gelatin.

Then I discovered that fish gelatin need not be an obstruction on the path to mallowy goodness. You just need to find a bag that was made right! I found Paskez. The Paskez brand is world famous for selling overpriced kosher junk food, and usually their product is barely edible, let alone any good - but their marshmallows are delish! A little powdery (see picture above), but very yummy. Beat that, MarshMan brand!

Speaking of treats, I order you to watch this video from the Canadian band Stars. It's a really catchy tune, and I like the way it goes from chorus #1 being the male vocalist, to chorus #2 being the female vocalist, to chorus #3 being a duet. The violins and guitar mesh well, and it's the kind of song that just stays with you for a while after you hear it. WATCH IT ON YOUTUBE.

Video: Joey's Message to You

I have been sitting on this video for seven months. I don't know why. For no concrete reason whatsoever, I allowed this heartfelt clip to languish in the obscurity of my hard drive. And now it is here.

It is a message from Joey to you. It was recorded on 'New Year's Eve' 2006, at Kibbutz Ramat Rachel, in Yerushalayim. It was a very last minute thing, but before Joey split, I asked him if he could record a message for everyone back home. He didn't want to, and I only pushed a little, but he quickly gave in. I think he kind of liked the idea, but he didn't want the attention.

I'm sorry I didn't put it online sooner. I guess it felt kind of weird taking something so personal, and throwing it into the public domain. I'm glad I did. Here's Joey:

RIP Canon

*UPDATED - See below*

It is with deep regret that I announce the passing of my longtime camera. After six years with my Canon Powershot S30, I had forged a deep connection. And I did not realize how much that relationship meant to me until it was gone.

I know what you are thinking - 'But it's just a camera - an object!'. Well, that is true. But this 'object' helped me see the world a little differently. When I looked through its lens, I did not witness the regular travails of everyday life, but instead, its inherent beauty. It was my guide to the larger world around me, and it helped make everything more easily visually digestible as it churned events into pixels.

My Canon camera’s processor has captured the visages of all my friends. I did not just use it for photographs, but also for every single video on this site. It helped me express myself creatively.

Just last night I was using my camera. The final image I captured with it was a shot of Sophia sitting in a backyard. The camera that accompanied me across Israel (twice), Poland, Ontario, and a large swath of the north-eastern United States is gone. All I have left of it is its body.

My sister accidentally let it slip from her lap today when she was sitting. It hit the ground, and died. I thought its steel body was strong, but it was not enough to save it from its cruel fate.

I am currently searching for an affordable Canon Powershot S series camera. My S30 will be forever missed. If you find a decent price for an S60, S70, or S80, please let me know.

I’ll never forget you, S30. You were really great.

- Avi

*Update:

The Canon is no longer officially dead! Last night, as I moped around, cradling the lifeless husk of my camera, I had an epiphany; What if it were dropped again?

You see, I figured it stopped functioning because the initial fall it took must have damaged one of its parts. I opted to give it a calculated slam, and see if it would resume working. I mean, what did I have to lose, right?

I slapped and shook it a few times, and then gently dropped it onto a thinly carpeted surface. After all that slammin', I attempted to turn the camera on. It now functions just as it always did - flawlessly. I figure that something was loosened, and my slamming around helped get it back on track.

I will watch the camera vigilantly, and I will not trust it as I did in the past. It could very likely revert to uselessness after a violent bump.

I'm going to try to get a Canon technician to take a peek inside, in order to set things right. I wish to thank Snoopy and Noham for their support during this difficult time.

Happy snapping.

Video: My Israeli Hotel Reunion Party

To celebrate the triumpant return to Toronto of Eli (aka Snoopy), the Shul of Rock is proud to present a new video.

It features Joey, Eli, newcomer Yossi, and myself in a little ditty I like to call "My Israeli Hotel Reunion Party".

Please note that this clip's intention is not to entertain (although it may), but rather to provide you with a glimpse into a moment that I continue to treasure. I hope you will feel as if you were there. Enjoy.

Video: Joey Sings

He is not just a tank operator - this chap can sing too! Watch this 30 second clip to witness Joey's rendition of 'Yerushalayim shel Zahav'. You will never be the same...

Anger, sadness, sweat, and burns

I’d like to say that the best part of my day today was when I burned my hand on an iron – because I actually felt something – but I did see some wonderful people I know, if only for an hour, and that was cool.

The rest of my day blew hot monkey chunks.

It kicked off with me dragging my sorry ass to the boss’ house to pick up an assignment. After a humid bus ride home, I hopped on my bike and went to a local condo to do some work. No-one opened their doors to me, so I worked hard for two hours, and made ZERO dollars.

I then cut out early to make an appearance at an engagement party. (Burned my hand first.) I schmoozed for a bit, ate some grub, and enjoyed some music. That was nice.

Then I rushed back home in a sweaty tizzy, hoping on doing two more hours of mind-numbing slag. Except this time, the security guard would not let me in. “You need to speak to the manager tomorrow”, he said.

“But I need to do this today”, I replied.

“The government can wait another day, can they not?” the guard shot back.

“But I can’t” I remarked, already slinking off. There was no convincing him.

Now I am sitting at home, angry and very sweaty. I spent a whole day rushing around, knocking on doors, and wasting the potential that exists within my being.

When I call my boss tomorrow to give my latest report, I intend to quit. I am allowing myself the night to think it over. I hope I get some sleep too.

I am currently perusing volunteer opportunities in the city. Why do a thankless job for little pay when I could be contributing to people’s lives in a meaningful way?

Just something to think about. For me, anyhow.

Spam Sucks!

I just checked an old e-mail account that I hardly ever use anymore. It had 273 new e-mails waiting for me - and most were spam. But not just any kind of spam - I'm talkin' weird spam that makes a creepy attempt to appeal to my sensibilities as a human being. It tries to be friendly. Here's a sampling:

How is everything with you and the family. Hope all is well. Just wanted todrop a line and see if you heard about the craze in losing weight. If not here it is (omitted) - Byron

I just heard from Bert and he looks completely different than he looked acouple mos (sic) ago. He said these guys (omitted) - Bert (another Bert, I guess)

Pedro wanted to me to send you an email about the site I went to purchase mystuff (omitted) - Angie

It has been awhile huh, hope everything with you is going well. How is work going also? I've just started with this new firm, (omitted). Give me ur thoughts. - Dudley

Hey there, buddy. I heard you were looking for some new knives. I've got some really sharp ones, and they are top quality. Check out my site at (omitted). Speak to you soon. - Noam

OK, one of those was fake - added as a joke - the rest were actually copied and pasted from my spam box. Darned spam!

LINKS:
Fight Spam

Spam Laws

Canada's Task Force on Spam

Fly for free?

I've always wanted to try my hand at being an air courier. You get to fly around the world for free... or so they say. Have you heard of this before? Is it a scam or the real deal? There is a great in-depth article about it at gonomad.com. (Click here for the article). Perhaps one of these days I'll give it a try. Or not.

My new gig

Hiya kids. It has been an interesting few days around the Shul, eh? I was accused of being a master spy, a really cool optical illusion came along, and then a Hilderbrandt died.

Anyhoo, I'm still working the dead-end census job (half-way through!), but I now have another gig - and it is an exciting one! I'm a staff writer at Canada's premiere comic book news website, The Comic Book Bin. I don't get paid, but I get to write about one my passions while also getting my name out there. Plus I get free comics... I mean how cool is that?

I just uploaded my first piece - it's an interview with Toronto's Matthew Blackett, a comic strip creator. Take a peek by clicking here. I'd love to hear what you think of it.

Coming in the near future... an interview with Canadian icon Ed the Sock!

That'll be fun.

RIP Tim Hildebrandt

One of my all time favourite artists, Tim Hildebrandt, passed away today. He was an incredible painter, dabbling in fantasy, sci-fi, and advertising. He and his twin brother Greg often painted together under the moniker 'The Brothers Hildebrandt'. They most famously painted the original 1977 Star Wars poster.

His work leaped off the page into my consciousness. Thanks for the memories, Tim. I'll always cherish my Shadows of the Empire cards. Rest in peace.

From Comic Book Resources:

Tim was a wonderful man with a great sense of humor. While he loved and appreciated all forms of art, he had a particular passion for animation and illustration.
While he will be greatly missed by all of us who love him, we take comfort knowing that he will live on in the art that he created.
Anyone wishing to express condolences to Greg Hildebrandt can send them to:
The Spiderwebart Gallery,5 Waterloo Rd.Hopatcong, NJ 07843

The Spanish Castle Illusion!

See the amazing optical illusion that is taking the internet by storm! It'll blow your mind! I don't know how they made it, but it's pretty awesome. It's amazing how your mind can fool you. Click here to check it out.

More numbers

I recently reported that the unique visitor count at Shul of Rock had hit 5000 people. Here are some more fun stats, as of June 9th, 2006:

Unique Visitors: 5085
Returning Visitors (Have been here more than once): 2208
Pageloads: 9217

Please note that the statistics for the first three months of 2006 already outshadow all of 2005! By the end of this year, the numbers should be through the roof. According to a study drawn up by the S of R executive board, this progress is due to our wide variety of Youtube videos, Dr. Love Advice Columns, and informative commentary. We also credit the photo selection, all the wonderful sites linking to us, and our dedicated fans.

While 50% of visitors usually only stay for less than six seconds, 25% of you stay for an hour or more. The rest varies.

Using the latest data, current readers (the most recent 100 readers) are 77% Canadian. The rest are as follows: 9% Israeli, 7% American, 3% Chilean, and 1% can be attributed to Indonesia, Bolivia, and the UK, respectively. No-one has logged in from Japan for the last while...

When it comes to browsers, 59% favour Internet Explorer. 29% choose various versions of Firefox. 10% opt for Safari. The rest use Mozilla and Netscape.

Windows XP is used by 83% of readers. Mac OS X is used by 10%. Windows 98 is run by 6%.

Clerks II

If I was pumped up about this movie before, I'm even more excited now. To see the other two teaser posters for Clerks II, click here.

Watch the trailer here.

See a picture of the fantastic venetian monkey here. It has nothing to do with the movie - I just thought it sounded funny. Nooch.

5000's a crowd

Hey ya'll. I 'passed out' earlier, after a long evening of work, but I just bounced up to make a special announcement; The unique visitor count at Shul of Rock has just passed the 5000 mark!

I'm not talking about pageloads or returning visits. The term 'unique visitors' refers to individual computers.

You keep reading, and we'll keep writing (and making videos, and displaying cool photography, and writing crappy poems). Thanks for the support!

10 Things I Hate About Commandments

Mr. Alex Green just sent me this video, and it clearly is the perfect way to celebrate Shavuot on the internet. It's a hilarious lil video called 10 Things I Hate About Commandments. Enjoy:

She's here, she's queer, she's Batwoman!

As you can see above, there is a new superhero in town, and her name is Batwoman. She is a new addition to the Bat-family, and although she is kicking around Gotham, she has no formal ties to Batman. She is also a lesbian.

In a move that has surprised some, and angered others, DC Comics has opted to make Batwoman one of the most high profile gay comic characters ever. Some applaud the move, while others feel she is merely playing into the 'lipstick lesbian' stereotype. I'm sure most testosterone fuelled fanboys do not care about the politics involved.

The announcment intially appeared in The New York Times. The costume was designed by Alex Ross, and was inspired by both the classic Batgirl costume, as well as the now defunct Batman Beyond television cartoon.